I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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