You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
