He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize