I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
