no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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