Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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