Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
