she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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