TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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