dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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