I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
