we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
