Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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