Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
