last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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