I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
