I'm so fucking centered right now
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
