Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
