So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize