yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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