Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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