he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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