I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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