Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
