Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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