grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
