we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
