I love black thongs
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
