So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize