sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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