You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
