Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
