i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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