can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
