Redeem this text for a blowjob
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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