please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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