I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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