you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
