i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize