I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
