This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
