There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
