____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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