Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
