Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize