I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
