I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
