Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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