Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
