a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
