I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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