i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize