do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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