I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
