omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
