ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
two words: eviction party
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Every concussion has its silver lining
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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