we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
