so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize