If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
