You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
